Missing Out.

“The presence of an object is required to make its absence felt.” -Adrienne Rich.

In Taoism, there’s a similar concept of “have” and “don’t have”. You must understand “have” so to understand “don’t have”. It’s like opposites, they work in relatives: tall/short, happy/sad, fun/boring etc. And I guess this is a way we find out what and who is important to us. When we haven’t experienced something, we don’t know, because we never had it, or tried it, so the absence of it makes no difference, because there was no presence. And it’s actually OK, to live like that. Stay the same. And you stick with what you know and don’t know.

But we change. Things change. Even though we don’t actively look for new experience or new things, they come to you from behind. It can be a friend is leaving town, or you lost your computer. And it is only then, the absent of it, the amount of frustration in missing it that tells you how important that thing is, or that person is, to you. Sometimes frustration is small, and you find solution quickly, or you forget about it. But sometimes, frustration can feel like a part of you is missing, it’s to heart, and there’s nothing you can do unless you have it again.

It’s all relative.

And passion, passion is what you feel frustrated the most when you lost it.


The spaces between flowers.

Everything has a scale.

Whether that’s with people or with what you do.
Some people you meet, but you are just passers-by,
and that’s all that.
Some they become your friends, but then you fall apart,
and that’s all that.
Some they come to give you some lessons, and they are like your mentors, they enrich your life.
Some are your soul mates, they understand you well, and you find your life incomplete without them, you keep them for lifelong.

You can’t control the people you meet, but you can control what you do when you meet them. And how that scale evolve, you let it be.

Some work you do, they are just a momentary of inspirations,
and that’s all that.
Some are what you want to experiment and try out,
and that’s all that.
Some you feel resonate with and you can do it for a much longer period, it feels as if it is part of you.
Some you feel it’ll influence others, and they will influence more people.

Some things look admirable but in fact you don’t really love.
You can’t control what you love to do, all you can control is to follow your heart and find the work you truly love. And how that scales evolve, you let it be.


Since when we use languages to communicate? Why is that our default way of communication? Words – yes those very letters that you are reading right now, the combinations of those letters – W-O-R-D – which you made sense of what it means from learning, maybe in school, maybe from experience, maybe from reading. I don’t know. And as you read this, you understand what I have written here because of this “common language” that we speak of.

But why don’t we use pictures to communicate? That’s what people do in ancient times I presume? E.g. They draw a picture of a “mountain” and do some actions and people understand that he’s going to the mountain. And e.g. when we learn what an “apple” means, often we are given a picture or a real object to refer to so that we know ok, this is called an apple. And then when someone tells you about something e.g. “Michelle goes to McDonalds for hamburger.” Your brain may go like this (in split seconds):

A picture of Michelle pops up, and then the picture of the logo McDonald, and a picture of a hand holding a hamburger.

Isn’t it even more straight forward to use pictures? You get to know what type of hamburger she’s having, and also what Michelle looks like at that moment. And if you don’t know what McDonald is at the beginning, you get to know it from the picture. So much more details. And no confusion. Or maybe it’s the fussiness and the gaps in languages that leaves room for people for imagination and that’s why we use languages?

Who knows.

Social Media

It’s a love or hate relationship. You love it because it gives you all these possibilities to connect with the world. There’s no geographic issues anymore. Anything that you put on social media people around the world is able to see, and watch, and read. And that’s a joy, in some sense, because you can truly connect with the people who resonate with you. And it’s like a big ass library, which you have all the access to. But you also hate it, because to be good at it, you will have to be constantly, 24 hours, 1440 minutes, on it. Information is uploaded every second just on 1 platform. And if you have 4, imagine the time spent on it and trying to catch up with all the information that’s there, trying to absorb them in, and replying, responding and the online interactions.

Social media is going way too fast. It’s swamping your head. And you feel you have to catch up – what’s this person up to, who’s that guy? what’s new to this? What’s everyone discussing about? No one is going to take information more carefully anymore. No one is going to read photographs more preciously. Sweep and that’s it. 3 seconds?

At the end of the day, you fight to strive a balance between being in this world and not getting lost in it.

The heart doesn’t lie.

The heart doesn’t lie. The mind might trick you, lie to you, but the heart doesn’t. Who makes you feel warm, who makes you feel calm, who makes you feel irritated, who makes you feel loved… It’s the heart that speaks the truth. Not the brain. Often the brain lies to us so much that we can’t even tell the truth. We trick ourselves into believing this is how we feel. It’s often the case of should vs. want. But what if you can’t distinguish them anymore?